Monday 16 November 2015

Egyptian Pyramid Story - Bobby

It was midnight and the moon was sat in the gloomy sky. Silence consumed our tent as we slept soundlessly. Suddenly, we heard a moving truck not far from us. Immediately, I got out of the tent, looked around and found them. “Who was that” inquired my colleague.
“I don’t know” I replied confused. Strangely, the truck stopped. I climbed into the tent and drifted off to sleep.


A few hours later, the annoying sun shone through the tent and woke me up. I couldn’t get back to sleep, which was annoying as i needed the energy. Eventually, my colleague woke up. Peeping through the door, I noticed the door cautiously open. A man dressed in black climbed out with binoculars in his hands observing our direction. Immediately, I launched myself back into the tent hoping they didn’t see me. I was petrified. Knowing someone was looking for you frightened me.


All of a sudden, my radio crackled. “There are local thieves travelling in a truck with a skull and crossbones attached to it!” our boss informed us.
“They’re here,” I replied nervously.
“No way!” he replied astonished. Suddenly, they dived out of their truck, slammed the doors and sprinted towards the temple. Immediately, I grabbed my colleague and chased them. The temple, which was eerie, contained thieves and my colleague and I.


Inside the pyramid, my colleague and I cautiously crept wherever I went. They looked behind. I dived round the corner. My heart was pounding, it felt as if someone was punching me. Gingerly, we got up. All of a sudden, an idea hit me.”We’ll follow them to the booby trap. They will set it off. Then we will sneak through,” I whispered. Finally, a door appeared and the thieves entered. They fell to the ground, which was peculiar. Cautiously, we entered and spotted thieves on the floor, arrows all over them and blood oozing out of them.”Help me!” wailed a deep voice from the floor as their lives were took hostage. Silently, my colleague and I snatched the the precious artefact, dashed out of the temple and climbed into our scorching hot truck and drove away.

1 comment:

  1. Lovely use of sentence types and nice story it all ends up into a tense ending I like it.I love your descriptive words you have used.

    Try and use more similes next time.

    ReplyDelete